Friday, May 1, 2009

all you need is love

There are some stories that rip down through you to the core of your soul. This is one I heard last night at a seminar I went to, and I had to share with all of you.

The man who told it is Mat Boggs, who for six years went around the country interviewing couples who have been (happily) married for 40+ years. Inspired by the love of his grandparents for each other... he went to seek what makes love continually grow.

One woman's husband was terminally ill. They had been married for 55 years or so. During their marriage they used to write little notes to each other and hide them around the house. He would write one "i miss you" and put it in a cupboard. Months later she would find it, and write one back: "thinking about you" and put them in his sweater drawer, in the mid of summer. Fall would come before he found it.

They always went to bed at the same time. As he got sicker, he would start to go to bed earlier and earlier, to the point he was crawling into bed at 4:30. He would always ask her to come to bed with him. After a while she got a bit frutrated because she would be half way through her day. So she would lay with him and hold him till he fell asleep, then get up and finish her day.

He got sicker and sicker, till one day she was laying there holding him, and slowly felt his breathing go slower and slower, until it stopped. The love of her life died there in her arms, slowly, as each breath took him from this realm into the next. She laid there sobbing and holding him, holding him so that she would never forget what it felt like...

She said that the those 60 yeas went by so fast. All she wished for was one last chance to feel that again, to feel him there. The average life span of a human is 77 years. That's it. 77 thanksgivings, 77 birthdays, 77 hari rayas, eids, life is finite.

She went through her drawers to put on something, and she felt a piece of paper.
He had, in his terminal illness and failing health, got up and in shaky writing, wrote on a note:

love you

that is the note that you see above.

Their love spreads across from this world to the next.

Love is transcendent across all relationships... breathe that into your lives.
here is a list of the love I see, and what sticks by me:

Grandpa & Grandma: I often think of the many times I watched you both dance in your kitchen. Your love is an inspiration to me.

Mama and Papa Townsend: Mama T lost her diamond bracelet, and Papa T made an appt to replace that one

Mom and Dad Demarest: Jan dropping his clothes out the window to hint that he needs to put it into the hamper LOL

Mak and Ayah: love note Ayah wrote on a record, "I'm in love i'm in love" sent it from london

Mr. and Mrs. Hamid: arranged marriage, and grew to fall in love with each other

Jay and Fernanda: Jay running home to be there to share Fernanda's first snowfall(she's brazilian)

Jovi and Jorg: met and flew back and forth between germany and london. getting married in july!

Estelle (my sister) and Teo: fixed her car when the starter was broken, used to push it to start it for her. Both very young but mature and loving in their relationship

Riani (twin) and Julien: He let her get pet turtles to put in their garden in a have one of them die a horrible death of getting stuck in an elevator door. My sister is still traumatized.

Mr. and Mrs. Reyes: you did everything together, watching you when i grew up was a very positive message.

Nenek (my indo grandma): hasn't remarried to keep the honor of her husband's name for her children. Still cuts chicken on the floor with a machete. My Grandfather died many years ago.

Ujing Butet and Uncle DB: uncle DB, when we were cooking and messed up the pressure cooker, your main concern was that Ujing didn't burn herself, and not that we were destroying the kitchen with hot oil and meat flying everywhere.

Uncle Steve and Tante Ruby: you both love so much, not just to each other, to long lost daughters of old friends. Watching you juggle an odd work schedule, children, and have you tante ruby tell me stories till late morning about what you and my parents did when i was too young to know (complete with sound effects and dance moves) will stay with me.

Cookie and Micah: he makes recipe manuals for her since she loves to bake bread.

Trish and Tony: your patience with each other is amazing.

Sarah and Chris Couhault: You probably barely remember me, but i remember you Chris piggy backing sarah back in highschool in Jakarta. I remember thinking, that is what love should be.

Mama Panda and Poppa Panda: mama P, you sat at the window with me while watching your husband sift through the dirt, telling me about how you read sifting soil will make growing near impossible... you just let him be.

Mama and Papa Roo: You are so supportive of each other, love so much.

MOM and DAD: they aren't together anymore, but my childhood was filled with so much love. When we moved to Indonesia, my father kept going to go buy plants because my mom liked to garden. Our back patio looked like a jungle. My mom used to spend so much time and care to MAKE cereal that my dad liked....from scratch, the same way his mom made it for him.

Love is beyond relationships. Give it to everyone. Spread it.


1 comment:

L said...

Incredible and inspiring..the world would be a better place if people took a moment to truly understand this kind of love